A breakthrough in C/C++ dependency management
Are you a C or C++ programmer? Are you envious that other languages keep hogging the limelight when it comes to supply chain attacks?
If you answered “yes” to both questions, I bring you revolutionary new technology — remote, on-demand includes in GCC and clang:
#include <https://lcamtuf.coredump.cx/leftpad.h> int main() { char* x = leftpad("Hello world!", 16); printf("[%s]\n", x); }
To use this exciting functionality, simply download the official remote_includes.tgz package from my website, compile it with ./build.sh, and then start compiling programs with:
LD_PRELOAD=./remote_includes.so gcc demo_program.c
…or:
LD_PRELOAD=./remote_includes.so clang demo_program.c
Of course, this technology is protected by military-grade security, as signified by the following symbol: 🔒.
Thank you and God bless!
PS. It works, but don’t use this! PPS. If you do, you will die, and it will hurt the whole time you’re dying.

Why even bother with a local file?
LD_PRELOAD=./remote_includes.so gcc https://example.com/software.c && ./a.out
Using a compiled language makes it so much faster than curl | sh.
I’m overcome by intrusive thoughts to try it
What’s the worst that could happen?